Some of us know that information, experience and abundant time are necessary to develop inner wisdom. Why then do we insist on proving our intelligence with quick, intense, one-sided answers, which we call defenses? Having to be right means that the other person is wrong, right? The discussion becomes about my truth versus your truth. Co-Dependence teaches us to compromise, even if not stated explicitly. If a relationship is about learning to be with another, why do we rush through life, competing with our partners to prove our independence? This rush reduces our ability to see both light and wisdom, and to think in unified, complete terms. The result is that we live in a world of illusion, where outer power is the ability to control others, so they will do our bidding. This reveals how we get caught up in compromising our truth, to serve false promises of security.